Page:Fielding - Sex and the Love Life.pdf/57

 an infantile ideal. In effect, the man so conditioned is still psychologically tied to his mother's apron strings. This is no idle figure of speech, but the plain labeling of a fact.

It is a distorted memory that the man possessed of a mother fixation is unconsciously worshipping—a living replica of which he is ever trying to find as the ideal mate. But he is doomed to disappointment and failure, because such a being, the living phantasy of his mental image, does not exist.

This is the unidentified factor that causes many persons to remain unmarried throughout life. They are unable to find the non-existent mate they are seeking.

There are less severe cases, where a strong tendency in this direction prevails, without a disruption of the whole love-life. Men feel some vague element lacking in their marriage relations. They realize that the woman they have chosen is a good wife, but there is some misgiving that they sense but cannot definitely recognize. If they could be brought to understand that they are simply trying to measure up a very human person with a non-existent ideal or glorified symbol, they would have the key to the whole situation.

A fixation is recognized as the cause of some cases of impotence—called "psychic impotence," because there is absolutely no physical reason for the impotent condition. Furthermore, in most cases of this kind, the man is impotent only with certain women, and not with others. This indicates that he has unconsciously identified the woman with whom he is impotent, with a member of the mother-sister class. On account of the natural revulsion to incest, he is unable to consummate the sex act. Some wives are frigid for the same reason. The husband is identified too closely with the father fixation. This is a point of practical interest, because impotence and frigidity are recognized as basic causes of marital disharmony.