Page:Female Prose Writers of America.djvu/441

 “Oh, dear doctor, how glad I am that you’ve come!” said my aunt; “though I am sorry you’ve got the headache,” glancing at his flannel cap.

“I understand,” said he, without noticing her remark, “that you have elongated the ligaments of your ankle joint—that is, sprained your ankle.”

“Yes, and it pains me so, that I am afraid that the information will get into it afore morning.”

“As it never got into your head, ma’am, there is no great danger of its getting into your ankle,” he replied, winking at Agnes and me. “Be pleased,” continued he, seeing my aunt about to speak, while he at the same time waved his hand in what he considered a very graceful and dignified manner, “be pleased, ma’am, to listen to a few observations which I propose to make. I shall proceed as systematically with your ankle, ma’am, as if I were treating a fever. I shall, however, omit the emetic.”

“Well, I am master glad o’ that, for I took some tatramatic once, and”——

“If you please, ma’am, permit me to proceed without interruption with my observations,—I was speaking of a fever. Now, in my estimation, to speak metaphorically, a fever is the very pink of diseases, and I had rather treat it than any other. However, a sprained ankle will do to brighten a man’s science in lieu of a better case. In the first place, ma’am, in accordance with the invariable rules of my practice in all similar cases, I shall apply to the part injured, a plaster, the several ingredients of which are all eminently calorific, and which in more simple language may be called a heater.”

“La, doctor, my ankle is as hot as fire coals now, and that is what makes me afraid of the information.”

“But, ma’am, though it were ten times hotter than fire coals, I assure you, there is a great deal of latent cold, which will be brought to the surface by means of this calorific plaster, which will evaporate in the form of perspiration.”

“Well, doctor, I suppose what you say is all right, but you do talk so figurey, that I don’t understand more than half you say.