Page:Exploits of wise Willie and witty Eppie, the ale-wife, of Buckhaven (2).pdf/18



18                   horn, an pu' the hair all them, and send 'em hame wanting the skin, as he did wi' Sowen Tammie's wee Sandy, for codin o' his pease, he took aff the poor laddie's                   coat, an sae slid he e'en. And Willie said, If ye were a sow, my Lord, an me                   sitting driting, an you to bite my arse; sudna. I hae amends o' you for that? Od, my Lord, ye wadna hae a bit out o'                   your arse for twenty marks: Ye maun e'en gar Muiredge gie ten marks to buy a plaster, to heal the poor bit wean's arse again. Well said, Willie, says my Lord; but who puts on the sow's nose again? A fegs, my Lord, said Willie, she's                   honester like wantin it, an she'll bite nae mae arses wi't: An ye had hane a nose my Lord, as lang as the sow had, ye'd                   been obliged to ony body it wad cut a                    piece af't.                      4. A Gentleman coming past near their town, asked one of their wives where their College stood? Said she, Gie me a shilling, an I'll let you see baith sides o't. He gives her the shilling, thinking to see something curious. Now, said she, there's the one side of your shil- ling, and there's the other; so it's mine now. Now, Wise Willie being greatly ad- mired for his just judgment in cutting