Page:Exploits of wise Willie and witty Eppie, the ale-wife, of Buckhaven (2).pdf/11



11                     doctor said he was wi' bairn. O waes me, co' Willie, for I hae a muckle wame, and I fear it's o'er true. O plague on                     you; Janet! for ye're the father o't, an' I'm sure to die in bearing o't. Witty Eppie was sent for, as she was a houdie; an' she fand a' Willie's wame, to be sure about it. Indeed, co' Eppie, ye're the first man e'er I saw wi' bairn before, an' how you'll bear it I didna ken, ye                     hae a wally wame, well I wat; but how men bear bairns I dinna ken: But I                     would drink salt sea-water, and drown it                      in my guts; for if men get ance the gate o' bearing weans themselves, they'll seek nae maur wives. So Willie drank sea- water till his guts was like to rive, and out he got to ease himself in the kail- yard, and with the terrible noise of his farting, up starts a mankin behind him, who thought it was shot: Willie seeing her jump o'er the dike, thought it was a                     child brought forth, and cries out, Come back, my dear, and be christened, and dinna rin to the bills to be a Pagan. So                     Willie grew better every day thereafter, being brought to bed in the kail-yard; but his daughter was brought to bed some months after, which was the cause of the doctor's mistake.