Page:Exploits of Wise Willie and Witty Eppie, the ale-wife, of Buckhaven (1).pdf/17

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But I'll gar my colly had them by the fit, an I'll had them by the horn, an pu' the hair aff them, an ſend'em hame wanting the ſkin, as he did wi' Sowen Tammie's wee Sandy, for codin o' his peaſe, he took aff the poor laddie's coat, an fae did he e'en. And Willie ſaid, If ye were a ſow, my Lord, an me fitting driting, an you to bite my arſe; ſudna I hae amends o' you for that? Od, my Lord, ye wadna hae a bit out o' your arſe for twenty marks: Ye maun e'en gar Muiredge gie ten marks to buy a plaſter, to heal the poor bit wean's arſe again.

Well ſaid; Willie, ſays my Lord; but who puts on the ſow's noſe again?

A ſegs, my Lord, ſaid Willie, ſhe's honeſter like wantin it, an Me'll bite nae mae arſes wi't: An ye had hane a noſe, my Lord, as lang as the ſow bad, ye'd been obliged to ony body it wad cut a piece aſ't.

4. A Gentleman coming poſt near their town, aſked one of their wives where their College ſtood? Said ſhe, Gie me a ſhilling, an I'll let you ſee baith ſides o't. He gives her the ſhilling, thinking to ſee ſomething curious. Now, ſays ſhe, there's the one ſide of your ſhilling, and there's the other; ſo it's mine now.

Now, Wiſe Willie being greatly admired for his juſt judgment in cutting off the ſort noſe, my Lord, in a mocking manner, made him burly bailie of Buck haven; Lang Sandy was Provoſt, and