Page:Exploits of Wise Willie and Witty Eppie, the ale-wife, of Buckhaven (1).pdf/10

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Willie, for I hae a muckle wame, an' I fear it's o'er true. O plague on you, Janet! for ye're the father o't, an' I'm ſure to die in bearing o't. Witty Eppie was ſent for, as he was a houdie; an' ſhe ſand a' Willie's wame, to be ſure about it. Indeed, co' Eppie, ye're the firſt man e'er I ſaw wi' bairn before, an' how you'll bear it I dinna ken, ye ha'e a wally wame, well I wat; but how men bear bairns I dinna ken: But I would drink ſalt ſea-water, and drown it in my guts; for if men get ance the gate o' bearing weans themſelves, they'll ſeek nas mair wives. So Willie drank ſea-water till his guts was like to rive, and out he got to eaſe himſelf in the kail-yard, and with the terrible noiſe of his farting, up ſtarts a maukin behind him, who thought it was ſhot: Willie ſeeing her jump o'er the dike, thought it was a child brought forth, and cries out, Come back, my dear, and be chriſtened, and din e rin to the hills to be a Pagan. So Willie grew better every day thereafter, being brought to bed in the kail-yard; but his daughter was brought to bed ſome months after, which was the cauſe of the doctor's miſtake.