Page:Evgenii Zamyatin - We (Zilboorg translation).pdf/177

Rh RECORD THIRTY-ONE

The Great OperationI Forgave EverythingThe Collision of Trains

Saved! At the very last moment, when it seemed that there was nothing to hold on to, that it was the end!

It was as if you already ascended the steps toward the threatening machine of the Well-Doer, or as if the great glass Bell with a heavy thud had already covered you, and for the last time in life you looked at the blue sky to devour it with your eyes when suddenly, it was only a dream! The sun is pink and cheerful and the wall What happiness to be able to touch the cold wall! And the pillow! To delight endlessly in the little cavity formed by your own head in the white pillow! This is approximately what I felt, when I read the State Journal this morning. It has all been a terrible dream, and the dream is over. And I was so feeble, so unfaithful, that I thought of selfish, voluntary death! I am ashamed now to reread yesterday’s last lines. But let them remain as a memory of that incredible what-might-have-happened, which will not happen! On the front page of the State Journal the following gleamed: