Page:Everybody's Book of English wit and humour (1880).djvu/91

 at the coins and asked, "Well, how long might you have been saving up for this little treat?"

While on business in the office of a printing-house the other day, a thin, tired-looking man entered, and, approaching the proprietor, said, "I want to have a list printed. Suppose you write it down as I tell you."

The proprietor made ready, and the man said: "Yes; I'm sure I locked the front door. Have yon got that?"

"Yes; but I don't understand."

"Never mind; don't interrupt me till I have finished. Are you ready?"

"Yes."

"I turned out the light in the bath room."

"All right; I've got it."

"The kitchen windows are fastened."

"Yes."

"The dog is in the cellar."

"Yes."

"I did not forget to put ashes on the furnace-fire."

"Yes."

"The servants are all in."

"Yes."

"The stable door is locked."

"Yes."

"No. the water is not running in the bath room."

"Yes."

"The kitten is out-doors."

"Yes."

"I turned off the draughts of the range."

"Yes."

"No, I do not smell smoke."

"Yes."

"I do not think I hear anyone trying to get into the house."

"Yes."