Page:Everybody's Book of English wit and humour (1880).djvu/76

 "How many are there?" said the doctor."

"No less than twenty," quoth John.

"Well, and how much a chimney have you?"

"Only a shilling a-piece, sir."

"Why, then," quoth the doctor, "you have earned a great deal of money in a little time."

"Yes, yes," says John, throwing his bag over his shoulder, "we black coats get our money easy enough."

Mr Hare, formerly the envoy to Poland, had apartments in the same house with Mr Fox; and, like his friend Charles, had frequent dealings with the monied Israelites. One morning, as he was looking out of his window, he observed several of the tribe assembled at the door, for admittance.

"Pray, gentlemen," says he, "are you Fox-hunting, or Hare-hunting this morning?"

"Sir," said a barber to an attorney, who was passing his door, "will you tell me if this is a good seven-shilling piece?" The lawyer pronounced the piece good, deposited it in his pocket, adding, with great gravity, "if you'll send your lad to my office, I'll return the fourpence."

,—I desire thou wilt go from me unto one of those sinful men in the flesh, called attorneys; and, after duly communing with him, see that he taketh out an instrument with a seal fixed thereunto, by means whereof we may seize the outward tabernacle of Obadiah Prim, and bring him before the lambskin men at Westminister, and teach him to do as he would be done unto. And so, I rest thy friend in the light,—.

An eminent judge used to say that in his opinion the very best thing ever said by a witness to a counsel was the reply given to Missing, the barrister, at the time leader of his circuit. He was defending a prisoner charged with stealing a donkey. The prosecutor had left the animal tied up to a gate, and when he