Page:Everybody's Book of English wit and humour (1880).djvu/70

 "Perfectly so, indeed," says the other; "I do not remember to have seen anything so little of its age in my life before."

The late Duke of York once remarked to Colonel W., at the mess of the 11th regiment, that the colonel was uncommonly bald, and, although a younger man than His Royal Highness, he stood in more need of a wig. The colonel, who had been of very long standing in the service, and whose promotion had been by no means rapid, informed His Royal Highness that his could be very easily accounted for.

"In what manner?" asked His Royal Highness, rather eagerly.

"By junior officers stepping over my head," Colonel W. replied.

The Duke was so pleased with the reply, that the gallant colonel obtained promotion in a few days afterwards.

A barrister observed to a learned brother in court, that he thought his whiskers were very unprofessional. "You are right," replied his friend, "a lawyer cannot be too barefaced."

Dr R maintained that poverty was a virtue.

"That," replied Canning, "is literally making a virtue of necessity."

Military Examiner—"What must a man be to be buried with military honours?"

Recruit—"Dead."

"Now Willie," said a coaxing mother, "I don't like to take medicine any better than you do, but I just make up my mind to do it, and then I do it."

The child looked up through his tears and replied, "And, mother, I just make up my mind that I won't, and I don't."

The Rev. Mather Byles had a slough opposite his house, in which, on a certain wet day, a chaise containing two of the town