Page:Everybody's Book of English wit and humour (1880).djvu/59

 "Not play cards again except on the ground floor," replied the candid friend.

When John Reeve was playing Bombastes at Bristol, upon being stabbed by Artixommous he denied the fairness of the thrust, and, appealing to the pit, said, "It is not fair, is it ?" A bald-headed gentleman, who, probably, took the whole representation to be serious, and to whom Reeve directed his glance, replied, "Really, sir, I cannot say, for I don't fence."

"And, pray, Mr. S.," said one of his fellow-collegians to a leader of a religious sect in one of our universities, "pray, let me inquire what is it that you call yourself?"

"I, sir—I? Why, sir, I call myself a moderate Calvinist."

"Then, sir, let me tell you," replied the querist, "that you might just as well call yourself a tame tiger."

We are never so well pleased with an antagonist, as when he makes an objection to which we are provided with a good answer.

The following playful colloquy in verse took place at a dinner table between Sir George Rose and James Smith, in allusion to Craven-street, Strand, where he resided:—

James Smith. — "At the top of my street, the attorneys abound, And down at the bottom the barges are found: Fly, honesty, fly, to some safer retreat, For there's craft in the river, and craft in the street."

Sir G. Rose. — "Why should honesty fly to some safer retreat. From attorneys and barges, 'od rot 'em? For the lawyers are just at the top of the street, And the barges are just at the bottom."

Collins, the poet, was never a lover, and never married. His odes, with all their exquisite fancy and splendid imagery, have not much interest in their subjects, and no pathos derived from feeling or passion. He is reported to have been once in love, and