Page:Everybody's Book of English wit and humour (1880).djvu/58

 And Porter of Brewer-street rows in a boat To Waters of River-street, Wapping.

Mr Sparrow in Bird-street has feathered his nest, Mr Archer in Bow-street woos Sally; Mr Windham in Air-street gets zephyr'd to rest, Mr Dancer resides in Ball-Alley. Mr Fisher in Finsbury fix'd all his views, Mr Foote in Shoe-lane works at carding; Mr Hawke has a residence close to the Mews, And Winter puts up in Spring-garden.

In Orange-street Lemon vends porter and ale, In Hart-street Jack Deer keeps a stable; In Hill-street located you'll find Mr Dale, In Blue Anchor-row, Mr Cable. In Knight-Rider-street you've both Walker and Day, In Castle-street Champion and Spearman; In Blackman-street Lillywhite makes a display, In Cheapside lives sweet Mrs Dearman.

In Paradise row Mr Adam sells figs, Eve, in Apple-tree Yard rooms has taken; Mr Coltman in Foley-street fits you with wigs, In Hog-lane, you call upon Bacon. Old Homer, in Greek-street, sells barrels and staves, While Pope in Cross-lane is a baker; In Liquorpond-street Mr Drinkwater shaves. In Cow-lane lives A. Veal, undertaker!

My jumbles and jingles I've now written down, And if for their meaning you teaze me— That they really have none I must candidly own, And silence will therefore best please me. If not witty, nor curious, they'll answer, I ween, To get me, "ask'd out" by great ninnies— And out of the firm of some new magazine Procure me a couple of guineas. [37]

A young man was found tricking at cards, and the players pitched him out at a first floor window. Being picked up by a friend, he blustered a good deal and said: "What would you advise me to do under the circumstances?"