Page:Everybody's Book of English wit and humour (1880).djvu/54

 with that of David—by way of answering the question why David did not retire from public life. After pointing out the obvious differences between the two men—the repentance of David, etc., he ended up thus: "And then, Sir, there is this last and most important difference of all: David wrote a psalm, and Mr Parnell a manifesto!" [16]

Among the many epigrams and witticisms on the Irish crisis which are flying about, one of the neatest was originated at the Hardwicke Debating Society by a speaker, who contended that Mr Parnell should retain his leadership. "For why," said this speaker, "should we ask Mr Parnell to retire into private life, when he has proved so conclusively that it is just in the sphere of private relations that this powerful politician does not know how to conduct himself?" [16]

"A group of working men were discussing Parnell in my hearing," writes Mr Howard Paul; "said one, 'I looked on Parnell as the champion of Home Rule, but this O'Shea business suggests that he is even better at Home Ruin.'" [16]

It would appear from the following that at Kidderminster it is common, if not a local peculiarity, to use the letter H very unceremoniously—either by denying it its proper functions, or by setting it to work in most uncongenial company:—

The Letter H Petitions the Inhabitants of Kidderminster:— Whereas by you I have been driven, From 'ouse, from 'ome, from 'ope, from 'eaven, And placed by your most learn'd society, In hexile, hanguish, and hanxiety; And charged, without one just pretence, With harrogance and himpudence: I here demand full restitution, And beg you'll mend your elocution.

Answer of the Inhabitants of Kidderminster:— Whereas we've rescued you, ingrate, From 'anger, 'avoc, and from 'ate