Page:Everybody's Book of English wit and humour (1880).djvu/48

 She has gave away my meat and bread; She has left me in spite of friends and Church, She has carried with her all my shirts. Now you who read this paper, Since she cut this reckless caper, I will not pay one single fraction For any debts of her contraction."

An amusing commentary on his text was afforded one Sunday evening by the curate of a parish which lies between Barnsley and Sheffield, but which it would hardly be fair to indicate further. The reverend gentleman had been preaching from the words, "He that followeth me shall not walk in darkness." Unfortunately, it was a very dark night; and, on the way home, the curate fell into a hole by the wayside where the road was being repaired, and seriously injured his ankle. The accident made the authorities wake up, however, and, during the progress of the repairs, a fire has been kept up burning after that night, and given light to all benighted travellers at that particular part of the road; and thus it came to pass that the words of the curate's test had a literal fulfilment, for certainly, whatever he may have done himself, those who followed him in the way he took that night have not had to walk in darkness. [36]

The Leed's Express records that Mr Herbert Gladstone was addressing a Woman's Suffrage meeting at Leeds one afternoon, and passed a compliment upon the eloquence possessed by the fair sex, and the pleasure it gave the masculine portion of creation to listen to them. And then a male voice issued from the background with, "Wait a bit, lad; tha'rt noan wed yet!" [17]

A would-be wit once said, speaking of the fair sex: "Ah, its woman's mission to make fools of men." "And how vexed we are," said a bright-eyed feminine present, "to find that nature has so often forestalled us."

Mrs Jerrold perfectly understood her husband, and they were very cordial in their relations with each other, though he often made her the butt for his jokes. He once told her that he thought