Page:Everybody's Book of English wit and humour (1880).djvu/39

 with one another. As he passed them he heard them "damn" each other in a most awful manner. On this, Howe taking off his hat, and bowing to them with great courtesy, said, "I pray God save you both." They were so struck with this salutation, that they forgot their anger, and joined in thanking him. [18]

Returning to London once, Douglas Jerrold was recognised in the railway carriage by a gentleman who wished — seeing the enthusiasm with which Jerrold pointed to the beauties of the landscape—to ingratiate himself by the assumption of an equal enthusiasm. But the counterfeit was plain and revolting.

"I take a book," said the stranger, "retire into some unfrequented field, lie down, gaze on God's heaven, then study. If there are animals in the field so much the better; the cow approaches, and looks down at me and I look up at her."

"With a filial smile?" asked the stranger's annoyed listener. [25]

"Is all my luggage in the van?"

"Yes, madam."

"Have I left nothing behind?"

"No, madam; not even a copper."

Sydney Smith himself tells a good story in illustration of the deficiency of a sense of fun. He had been treating the company at dinner to one of his best things, and observed all the table, as usual, in a roar, except one phlegmatic gentleman, who showed no symptom of a smile. Some time after the ladies had retired from dessert, this gentleman broke out into a tremendous laugh, and said: "Oh, I see, Mr Smith, you meant that"—referring to his remark during dinner—"for a joke, didn't you?" "Well, sir, I rather think I did." It had just penetrated the inappreciative strata of his brain. [3]

A Quaker barber being sued by the clergyman of the village for tithes, went to him and asked why he troubled him, as he never had any dealing with him in his whole life.

"Why," said the parson, "it is for tithes."