Page:Everybody's Book of English wit and humour (1880).djvu/38

 John Howe (some time chaplain to Oliver Cromwell) was one day walking in St James's Park, a noble lord, to whom he was well known, sent his footman to say that he desired to speak with him. He then entered into conversation about the obnoxious "Bill," which he assured Howe "he had opposed to the utmost." Gradually getting warm upon the subject, he so far forgot his company as to say, "Damn those wretches! for they are mad, and will bring us all into confusion." Howe calmly replied, "My lord, 'tis a great satisfaction to us, who in all affairs of this nature desire to look upwards, that there is a God who governs the world, to whom we can leave the issues and events of things; and we are satisfied, and may therefore be easy, that He will not fail in due time of making a suitable retribution to all according to their present carriage. And this great Ruler of the world, my lord, has among other things also declared, He will make a difference between him that sweareth, and him that feareth an oath." His lordship was struck with Howe's reply, and after a pause said, "Sir, I thank you for your freedom; I understand your meaning. I shall endeavour to make a good use of it." Howe adroitly answered, "My lord, I have a great deal more reason to thank your lordship, for saving me the most difficult part of a discourse, which is the application." [18]

On another occasion, when dining in company with persons of great respectability, a gentleman at table thought proper to expatiate at great length on the merits of Charles I. Howe, observing that he frequently indulged in the most fearful oaths, quietly remarked, "That in his enumeration of the excellences of the Prince he had undertaken to panegyrize, he had totally omitted one, which had been universally ascribed to him." The gentleman was delighted to find Mr Howe a witness in favour of the Prince he so much praised, and was quite impatient to know what was the excellence which had escaped him. Howe suffered him to press for the information some time, and then told him, that "Charles was never known to swear an oath in his common conversation." It is pleasing to add, that the gentleman bore the reproof well, and promised to abandon the habit for the future. [18]

At another time, as he was walking along the street, he came up to two persons of rank, who were engaged in a very angry dispute