Page:Everybody's Book of English wit and humour (1880).djvu/37

 "Pardon me, Doctor," said I, advancing; "I am sure you meant to say, 'From a lady downwards.'"

"You are quite right," said the doctor, laughing heartily; "of course I meant to say that. And now, will you kindly exchange cards with me?" This was done, and we shook hands and parted. [20]

A barrister was met by a friend the other day in the street laden with a lot of law-books. Pointing at the books, his friend said, "Why, I thought you carried all that stuff in your head!" "I do," quickly replied the lawyer with a knowing wink; "these are for the judges."

A good story is told of an ostler, who was sent to the stable to bring forth a traveller's horse. Not knowing which of the two strange horses in the stall belonged to the traveller, and wishing to avoid the appearance of ignorance in his business, he saddled both animals and brought them to the door.

The traveller pointed out his own horse, saying, "That's my nag."

"Certainly, your honour, I know that very well; but I didn't know which was the other gentleman's."

Douglas Jerrold's mot about truth, was that "In this world truth can wait; she's used to it."

The exquisite confusion of Douglas Jerrold's tipsy gentleman, who, after scraping the door for an hour with his latch-key, leans back, and exclaims: "By Jove! some scoundrel has stolen—stolen—the keyhole!" comes as near farce as any of his illustrations.

On one saying to another, "You speak foolishly," the latter answered, "It is that you may understand me."

While the Bill against Occasional Conformity was still under discussion, the following characteristic incident occurred. As