Page:Everybody's Book of English wit and humour (1880).djvu/35

 progressed, but as Miss Mary would not yield, William gallantly ceased from speech, though unconvinced of course. The servant then hung up the picture where the young lady ordered, but when he had done this he crossed the room and hammered a nail into the opposite wall. He was asked why he did this.

"Aweel, miss, that will do to hang the picture on when ye'll have come round to Master Willie's opeenion."

The family generally did come round to William's opinion, for the resources of his tongue-fencing were wonderful, and his father, who admired a clever feint as much as a straight thrust, never failed to encourage him by saying, "Hear, hear! Well said! Well put, Willie!" if the young debater bore himself well in the encounter. "Never Forget the Dear Ones." Never forget the dear ones, Buy always of the cheap; If you've a numerous family Which you're obliged to keep. No, don't forget the dear ones, When you a-shopping go; Or you will soon discover Your purse is getting low. [1]

This is another anecdote told of the late Rev. Robert Hall. When discussing one day the necessity of church reform with a clergyman, who, after being educated by the Dissenters, obtained a conviction of the purity of the Established Church, and a lucrative living within her pale at the same time, Mr Hall illustrated this kind of logical process in a way unsurpassed in the history of sarcasm. This gentleman's constant refuge, when hard driven by the arguments of Mr Hall, was, "I can't see it,"—"I don't see it,"—"I can't see that at all." At last Mr Hall took a letter from his pocket, and wrote on the back of it with his pencil in small letters the word "God." "Do you see that?"—"Yes." He then covered it with a piece of gold. "Do you see it now?"—"No."—"I must wish you good morning, sir," said Hall; and left him to his meditations. [11]

An able and learned judge is said to have been once obliged to deliver the following charge to a jury :—"Gentlemen of the jury;