Page:Everybody's Book of English wit and humour (1880).djvu/24

 their attention, instead of being occupied by the spirit, will be concentrated on the flesh; for I am told that they never breakfast without a cold missionary on the sideboard."

In shaking hands with the new prelate, as he was leaving the house, Smith added: "Good-bye. We shall never meet again; but let us hope that you may thoroughly disagree with the savage that eats you." [2]

Tom Hood suggested that the phrase, "republic of letters," was hit upon to insinuate that, taking the whole lot of authors together, they had not a sovereign amongst them.

Theodore Hook was at a musical party, at which a young lady attempted to sing a very difficult song, which she gave with exaggerated feeling and a great many blunders.

"Don't you adore her singing? " asked a gushing old lady, who sat next Hook; "it's so full of soul."

"Well, madam, for my part," answered the wit, "there seems more of the flounder, than the sole about it." [28]

Jerrold had a friend who was fond of implying in his conversation that he was very well connected, and who frequently referred to "my friend, Lord" this, and "my chum, Lord" that. Riding out with Douglas Jerrold one day the conversation turned on fish.

"Ah," said the swell, "d'you know I was dining at Lord 's the other evening, and I was very much surprised that there was no fish on the table."

"No need to be surprised," said Douglas; "that was because they had eaten it all upstairs." [4]

Those who have collected books, and whose good nature has prompted them to accommodate their friends with them, will feel the sting at an answer which was made to one who lamented the difficulty which he found in persuading his friends to return the volumes that he lent them.

"Sir," he said, "your acquaintance find, I suppose, that it is