Page:Every Woman's Encyclopedia Volume 1.djvu/656

 LADY OF QUALITY 630 keep their gloves on till sitting down to table, but there is no rule. The hostess is in a hat more often than not. The meal is simplified in the matter of attendance in most houses. When the hot dishes have been done with, the servants place any cold ones on the table with cheese, biscuits, and dessert, and leave the room. The idea is that this leaves an opportunity for conversing freely. The hostess should see that a servant is summoned at once if necessary. After luncheon, coffee is served in the drawing-room, but it is quite permissible for any guest to leave without going upstairs. Everyone is so busy nowadays that this is quite understood. The hostess herself may have an engagement within an hour after the meal is over. THE ETIQUETTE OF THE VltSITING CARD

..../ 'v,..'" Continued from pai^e 374, Parts '■•^■■' Addressing Letters— Pre-names— The Title ** Honourable ^^— Hyphened Names, the Advantages and Unpopularity — The "Widow's Visiting Card Much of this might be avoided by a little careful study as to the wording of the visiting- card. In many families, the same Christian name is given to the eldest son, generation after generation. How many James Smiths are there in Great Britain ? Suppose that the widow of one of these has " Mrs. James Smith " upon her card, and that the wife of one of her sons is also Mrs. James Smith, the latter would be more than justified by adopting a pre-name and a hyphen as a precautionary measure against mistakes. An old family name would serve this purpose, and could give offence to no one of a reasonable cast of mind. That there are many who are not reasonable is an unfortunate fact, and that they are prone to impute unworthy motives to almosi every action is no less indisputable. Bui they leave off vituperating in time, and the benefit of some distinctive name remains. When the surname is of an uncommon order, no such precaution is necessary, but when the contrary is the case it is an excellent plan to adopt a pre-name. Mrs. James Brown, perhaps the fourth of that name in a large family, can start her married life as Mrs. James Harper-Brown, and become known among her friends as Mrs. Harper-Brown, a very convenient and useful manner of distinguishing her from the other Mrs. James Browns. A widow has her cards printed with her late husband's Christian name before the family name. This is because the eldest son's wife becomes the principal lady in the family so far as social importance is con- cerned, and is consequently entitled to call herself Mrs. Brown. The dowager is Mrs. James Brown again, as probably she was when first married. She now becomes a fresh addition to the number of Mrs. James Browns in the family. The hyphen, it is true, is in some disgrace, owing to the mis- use that has been made of it, but here is a way in which It may be utilised. 70 ie ccntitnted. IT is an accepted rule that in addressing a letter the person writing shall follow the wording of the addressee's visiting-card as closely as possible. The exceptions are with regard to a man's card. Instead of his name being preceded by " Mr.," it should be followed by " Esq.," unless he happens to have a title or some professional rank. Another exception is the title " Honble.," which is never put on visiting-cards, but always on envelopes. There is sometimes a misconception about this prefix. There are cases when the wife only is entitled to it, and not the husband. She will have derived the rank from her father. In such cases, an invitation of the formal kind would be worded to suit the circumstances ; as, for instance : Mr. and Mrs. Jones request the pleasure of Mr. Robinson's and the Honble. Mrs. Robinson's company at dinner on^^etc., etc. If the husband is entitled to the prefix, the wife has it too, and the names would run : The Honble. John and Mrs. Robinson's, etc. In connection with the abbreviation of the word " Honourable," it may be men- tioned that persons of high position always write it " Honble.," whereas the middle classes and the Press curtail it to " Hon." This latter is apt to be confused with the contraction of the word honorary. For that reason, the custom of persons of rank is to be preferred as more rational. It is only polite to be extremely careful about the spelling of names that are copied from those on visiting-cards. There is a good deal of carelessness about this, which is regrettable, for it is, in its way, a cause of friction. Another thing that is also productive of misunderstanding and sometimes of quarrels -is the similarity of family names, leading to letters being opened by other than the persons to whom they have been addressed. «