Page:Every Woman's Encyclopedia Volume 1.djvu/638

 MARRIAGE 6l2 W^EDDIMG PRESENTS The Gilt the Emblem of Goodwill— The Wedding Presents on View— A Question of Tact HE original idea of the wedding present was to make some gift suitable to help the young couple to start life together, whether as part of the equip- ment of the house they were to live in, or more particularly for personal use. A survival from these old days — and a very useful one — is seen in the canteen of plate and cutlery which, when chosen and bought of a firm of high reputation, sometimes lasts through the whole of married life. Although the dozen or two of every kind of spoon, fork, and knife may not actually suffice for future family needs, yet the things themselves, with careful usage, will be as good as new, and in some cases, even better. Old Sheffield, for instance, is worth more than new silver, and certain makes of spoons fetch literally their weight in gold. The Gift the Emblem of Goodwill It is a curious truth that, as a rule, one's richest friends make the poorest of gifts. Perhaps they think that anything sufficient to represent worthily the value of their affection would be impossible to find, and therefore content themselves with a mere token of goodwill. Until someone tried the happy inspiration of introducing a cheque among possible wedding presents, many of one's well-off relatives continued to send rather shabby gifts to the brides among the connection. But the cheque is a different matter. It is so easily done. There is no trouble of choosing, no fear of the present proving unsuitable or being duplicated, and therefore in danger of being exchanged. All parties were (and are) pleased. Another innovation is of great benefit to the newly married — that of several friends combining together to buy a really handsome present, instead of each giving some inexpen- sive trifle. This, too, sometimes takes the form of a cheque, sometimes of a handsome piece of jewellery or furniture, lace, picture or motor, victoria, brougham, Ralli, or governess cart, with harness. There is a third circumstance that has given a decided fillip to wedding presents. It is the publishing in certain weekly and a few daily journals of the list of presents, together with the names of the donors. People like to see themselves in print. Apparently they do not mind in the least how trivial the present may be with which their names are associated, as anyone may gather from reading one of these lists. And the recipients welcome even the smallest present as an addition to the sum total. They like to be able to say that they have received two hundred, three hundred, five hundred, as the case may be, so everyone is gratified. The Wedding Presents on View Should it be impossible, owing to circum- stances, to display the presents at the wedding reception, they are shown in the home of the newly married couple, on the occasion of their being at home to their friends on the conclusion of the wedding trip. The young couple should have the order of arrangement so well learned that one or other of them should be able to take each donor, on arrival, at once to the spot where his or her present, accompanied by the card of the giver, is on view. To have forgotten not only where it is, but what it is, may be regarded as a grievous error in tact. Yet such things have happened — nay, happen daily, and will continue to happen. The large, important presents are above any such indignity. The generosity of the giver has made too deep an impression. But it is not really easy to remember exactly which friends have given the six sets of salt-cellars, the seven cases of afternoon tea- spoons, or the four or five soup-ladles. Yet it should be managed, and, after all, many of these presents are in charming taste, and may come from some of the nicest and dearest, though possibly not richest, of one's friends. Those are not the ones likely to be forgotten nor easily confused with others. A Question of Tact Givers of presents are sometimes lacking in tact themselves. " I chose this for you, my dear, because I know you are not going to be well off, and I thought you would prefer a useful present to something merely orna- mental." This was said in an extraordinarily loud voice on one occasion, and within hear- ing of the bridegroom, who happened to be particularly sensitive on the point of not being able to give his bride as good a home as the one to which she had been accustomed. However well-meant the words may have been, they were unfortunate. Givers like to see their gifts in use. Con- sequently, when the newly married couple entertain later on, they should see that the presents sent by their guests of the occasion should be used at table, or otherwise pro- minently placed. At receptions, as many of the wedding presents as possible should be laid about the rooms, and attention drawn to them. Gratitude should not stop short with the mere writing of a letter of thanks, and even if the sentiment is unfelt. the recipients should " assume the virtue if they have it not." It is a bad mistake to thank anyone for another person's gift. It has often been done.