Page:Every Woman's Encyclopedia Volume 1.djvu/636

 MARRIAGE Marriage plays a very important part in every woman's life, and, on account of its universal interest and importance, will be dealt with fully in Every Woman's Encyclopaedia. The subject has two sides, the practical and the romantic. A varied range of articles, therefore, will be included in this section, dealing with : The Ceremony Afarriage Customs Trousseaux HoneyjHoons Engagejnents Colonial Marriages Bridesmaids Wedding Superstitions Foreign Alarriages Groomsmen Afarriage Statistics Engagement and Wedding Rings, etc. TME HUSBAND IN THE H' By "MADGE" ^Mrs. HUMPHRY) The Privacy of Letters — The Power of a "Woman's Influence— Feed the Husband "Well, but Feed Him Suitably — The Housekeeper's Temptation of Extravagance A husband's letters, opened or unopened, should be sacred to himself. In the days when women were regarded as " goods and chattels " men thought it a part of their matrimonial duty to keep an eye on their wives' correspondence, just as the mistress of a boarding-school does. Relics, rags and tatters of this belief are still to be found, but the average husband never dreams of aeading letters addressed to his wife. One reads in novels and sees in plays the inquisitive wife who goes to her husband's pockets, takes out his letters, and reads them. Tliis mean and dishonourable act is on a par with theft. It is, besides, extremely foolish. "Where ignorance is bliss, 'tis folly to be wise." Folly indeed to destroy the calm of existence by routing out materials for wrath, quarrels, misery, sometimes despair. Many a woman has regretted bitterly the hour when she was guilty of reading (sometimes misreading) letters ad- drjessed to her husband. St. Paul commanded wives to obey their husbands. But this order surely must not be taken to mean humble slavishness. Husband and wife should be partners in the hymeneal firm and should consult each other as to their actions. Such obedience wrecks the splendid dis- cipline of marriage. The woman's wings will grow, while the man is sinking in a morass of egoism. This is quite unfair. Part of a wife's duty is to see her husband's faults, and most gently and tenderly to correct them. Even Milton admitted this — he, the thrice-married, who kept his wives down with a master's hand. No wife need sit as a critic on the hearth. She should not try to mould and model her husband to suit her own ideas. Her path is a very narrow one. It lies in a golden mean between candour and cowardice. A Man's Standard of Honour Men's standard of honour is popularly supposed to be higher than that of women. Doubtless it sometimes is so. But there are cases when, after marriage, a wife is shocked and revolted by the laxity of her husband's code, perhaps in matters of business, possibly in affairs of every-day life. He thinks nothing of breaking a promise, whereas she has made it a practice never to do so. He may pride himself on some bit of sharp practice which she regards as dishonourable, if not actually dishonest. Should she let it pass ? Or, taking her courage in both hands and arming herself with all her gentleness, place before him her view of the matter ? It is an effort of moral courage which she makes with trembling heart and shaking hands. Sometimes she has her due reward ; more often not. But her very love for him has made it impossible for her to act otherwise, without being self -convicted of cowardice. A husband reclaimed from the odious vice of drunkenness may owe his return to sweet peace and a wholesome atmosphere