Page:Every Woman's Encyclopedia Volume 1.djvu/523

 499 MARRIAQE MARRIAGE IN MAMY ILAHDS By "MADGE" (Mrs. HUMPHRY) Marriage Customs — Germany — France — Finland — Turkey It is the young women, not the men, in Germany who make their matrimonial choice. Money rules the market. Girls who are sure of a comfortable dowry settle with their mother whether they shall marry an officer, a diplomatist, a lawyer, a doctor, or a merchant. Girls with imagination and a picturesque outlook on life sometimes choose painters, poets, or literary men. Military officers are not permitted to marry unless their bride brings them sufficient income to maintain their position apart from the not particularly liberal pay of the men themselves. It may be this military rule that has given rise to the whole system, which is so completely opposed to out own. Where Maidens Woo At the same time, it must not be supposed that young men are so unnatural, especially in sentimental Germany, as not to fall in love on occasion and do their own wooing. The difficulty is to find opportunities for meeting. At a dance it is forbidden to a girl to dance more than twice with the same man, unless she happen to be engaged to him. The chaperon is necessary in the well-bred classes for visits to the opera and theatre, but when a young woman has made her choice, matters are very different. The lovers go out alone, sup together at a restaurant, visit the theatre, and, even among the highest class, sit apart from others, and behave with a smts gene which would astound a Frenchman. Opportunities are made for the young couple to meet, and, so accommodating is the disposition of the average German young man, that he usually falls in love with his fiancee and all goes happily. The great interests of a woman's life in Germany have been summed up in four " K's " — kinder, kleider, kirche, kiiche (in our own language four " C's " — children clothes, church, and cooking). It will be seen that no mention of the husband occurs in this little list. It is the mother who makes the financial arrangements about the marriage. The son-in-law frequently knows nothing about the eventual prospects of his wife, but his family arranges with his future mother-in-law what shall be the allowance from her side of the house. This is the nadelgeld (pin-money in England, argent d'epingles in France), but, contrary to the English custom, she gives part of it towards the expenses of the house. The Weddins: Eve The polterabend is a great institution in Germany. After a dinner, to which the relatives and some of the friends of both families are invited and which lasts for hours, there is a rehearsal of the morrow's cere- monv, and when it is over there is an entertainment, a short play, operetta, or charades, in which the principal events of the life of the young couple are passed in review, and the whole winds up with a dance. It is a joyous, noisy evening, especially in certain parts of the country — on the banks of the Rhine, for instance. There it is the custom to throw out of the window every- thing in the house which is broken or cracked. Sometimes astonished neighbours open their windows, but soon close them again, saying to each other, "It is all right. It is the polterabend of Fraulein ." This smash- ing of all imperfect china, glass, etc., is supposed to bring good luck. When the Frenchman Marries In France marriages are almost always arranged by the relatives of the two parties. The girl, fresh from her convent, unused to the ways of the world, is married almost immediately to a man whom she may have seen but once or twice. Disparity of age is thought nothing of in France ; a girl of seventeen, as often as not, is married to a man of forty, fifty, or even sixty. Human nature is the same in all countries. The young lean to the young, and the state of affairs in France is too well-known to need comment. Often, however, there are happy marriages of youth with youth, and the girl's delight in her new life is increased by the freedom she enjoys, as compared with the restraint of the convent in which her girlhood has been passed. Family life is often very charming in France. The wife, whether in high or in humble position, enters more fully into the interests of her husband, knows more about his affairs, financial and otherwise, and works more with and for him than is usual in our own society. A French woman — that is, the middle- class, educated woman — often acts as secre- tary to her husband, particularly when he owns a large business. The wife of the little shopkeeper, even though she be the mother of one or two little ones at the age when most care is needed in the nursery and schoolroom, frequently works as hard as her husband in the shop and at the book-keeping. French laws are more in favour of the wife sharing in the resulting prosperity than are those in England. A Light-hearted Nation Weddings in France are very gay. The light-heartedness of the nation is never more apparent than on these joyous occa- sions. A country house wedding is one of the brightest of functions. A great marriage at the Madeleine is a beautiful sight. The clergy wear magnificent vestments ; the choir fills the great spaces with exquisite