Page:Every Woman's Encyclopedia Volume 1.djvu/521

 497 MARRIAGE Marriage plays a very important part in every woman's life, ai.d, on account of its universal interest and importance, will be dealt with fully in Every Woman's Encyclopedia. The subject has two sides, the practical and the romantic. A varied range of articles, therefore, will be included in this section, dealing wit l^he Ceremony Honeymoons Bridesmaids Groomsmen h: Marriage Customs Engagements Wedding Superstitions Marriage Statistics Trousseaux Colonial Marriages Foreign Marriages Engagement and IVedding Rings, etc. THE fSUSBAMD IN THE HOME By "MADGE" (Mrs. HUMPHRY) How to Make Marriage a Success— Reciprocity Essential to Marital Happiness — The Value o£ Tact — Inviolability of Correspondence — Man's Standard of Honour best way of achieving that toleration which is one of the first lessons to be learned in married life. " He has such irritating little ways," the inexperienced wife thinks to herself. Let her reflect that quite possibly he may be thinking the very same thing about her, and perhaps schooling himself far more effectually than she to put up with them. It is unlikely that any man will feel brave enough to read this article. I feel, there- fore, that I am addressing women only on this great subject. The great aim of the young bride is to make her marriage a success in every way. Her home is to be the prettiest within the possibilities of the combined exchequer. It is also to be orderly, regular, entirely com- fortable, and cleverly conducted. Meals are to be served to the moment. Has she not heard, all through her life, that unpunctuality in this particular is nothing less than an outrage upon the master of the house, and consequently a deadly matrimonial crime ? When " Punch " gave his immortal bit of advice to the young wife, " Feed the brute," he might have added, " and see that you do it up to time." The bride makes all these good resolves gaily and blithely, little recking of the difficulties that lie in the way of keeping them. " Woman," it has been said, " has to be a natural historian in the den of the most complicated and difficult animals in the world." Hence it is that the first year of marriage is almost always a very trying one. The newly married couple are entirely un- acquainted with each others' corners, those sharp edges that are all the more unpleasant because completely unexpected. It is a very salutary plan to inquire within as to whether there are no corresponding corners in one's own character. This is the Where Angels Fear to Tread Reciprocity is indispensable to home happiness. In other words, to give and take. But even this needs practice. Dis- parity in reciprocity is a source of friction. And yet how often the generous and the ignoble nature are unequally yoked together. True, there' may come, after many years, a sort of fusion. The lower is drawn up. while the higher leans down to help, and both at last arc on the selfsame plane. But what did Tennyson say ? He took a gloomy view of marriage when the mascu- line was the inferior : "*As the husband is, the wife is. Thou art mated with a clown. And the grossness of his nature will have weight to drag thee down." The lover, however, would naturally take a pessimistic view when his " cousin Amy " had married someone else, as she had done in " Locksley Hall." " No sandpaper for the asperities. Apply oil " is the advice of one who has enjoyed the companionship of three husbands. It is wise counsel. The foolish wives who " rush