Page:Every Woman's Encyclopedia Volume 1.djvu/370

 r MARRIAGE Marriage plays a very important part in every woman's life, and, on account of its universal interest and importance, will be dealt with fully in Every Woman's Lncyclop.-euia. The subject has iwo sides, the practical and the romantic. A varied range of articles, therefore, will be included in this section, dealing with : 1 The Ceremony Marriage Customs Tronsseatix Honeymoons Engagements Colonial Marriages Bi'idesmaids Wedding Superstitions Foreign Marriages Groomsmen Marriage Statistics Engagement and Wedding Rings, etc. THE ETIQUETTE OF PROPOSALS By "MADGE" ^Mrs. HUMPHRY) How to Woo and be Wooed — The Difficulty a Man Finds in Proposing— The Persistent Lover —Marriages of Conveniencet and Cases where there is a Marked Disparity of Position or of Age It is not an easy thing to propose. Many T^HERE are girls who are genuinely taken by ^ surprise when thej^ receive a proposal ; other girls are often surprised because they do not. But, for the most part, there is some premonition of the event about to happen, and usually the girl knows whether she is prepared to accept it or reject it. If she happen to be kind and right- minded she will try to prevent from coming to the point any man whom she has made up her mind to refuse. Should he persist, she makes this refusal as clear as possible. But there are men who will not take even the firmest and most decided " No " for an answer. These men are of two sorts : either the masterful, who mean to get what they want and with the smallest possible loss of time, or the inflatedly con- ceited, who cannot imagine any girl or woman wishing to refuse them. A refusal should always be courteous. A man can offer no higher compliment, and for the woman to be disdainful and to snub him is in the worst of bad taste. But if the gentleman decline to accept a re- fusal, he certainly deserves a little sav^rity. Otherwise, how is he to be convinced ? On the other hand, there are wooers so deeply in love, so mistrustful of their own merits (even when these are backed up by worldly advantages), so crushed by a refusal, that a good-hearted girl is in actual danger of accepting them out of pure good feeling. It sometimes happens that she does so, but such marriages do not often turn out very well. and many a brave man has lacked courage for it. If he be really in love, he thinks himself unworthy of the object of his adora- tion, and he hesitates to offer her his hand and heart. " It's such cheek 1 " he thinks. Even when he has received sufficient en- couragement from the lady to convince him that she reciprocates his attachment, he may find some difficulty in getting the important question spoken. The Wooer's Dilemma Sometimes he takes counsel with a friend. This is almost always an unwise thing to do. Should the friend be married he has probably forgotten his own faintheartedness when wishing to propose. Should he be unmarried, and not in love, he will be unable to see any difficulty whatever in the busi- ness. His advice, in either case, will scarcely be helpful, and may possibly be harmful. It is also rather dangerous to inquire of the girl's mother or sister if there is any hope for his suit.-^ Should either of these ladies be averse to the match, she ma}' throw cold water upon his ardour and further quench his courage. As to the girls' fathers, they have a daunting, un- sympathetic way of treating any confidence of the kind. Their own wooing, far in the past, they have forgotten, and they regard the matter as not only very easy, but absolutely commonplace." With advice they are sometimes very ready, but the brand is not always good. There was a time when the father had tc