Page:Et Cetera, a Collector's Scrap-Book (1924).djvu/33

 Philip: Then you will have to lump it.

D. V. [pleadingly]: You are making it very hard for me.

Philip: Your professional reputation is a matter of complete indifference to me. Your personality I find objectionable.

Dorothy: Philip!

Philip [waxing eloquent]: I don’t like your seedy whiskers, or your button boots, or your beastly gloves, or your nasty little black bag.

D. V.: You are grossly personal, sir.

Philip: You have the air of a fraudulent commercial traveller!

D. V.: I warn you—

Philip: A hypocritical undertaker’s man!

D. V.: I warn you—

Philip: An incompetent baby-stealer!

D. V.: You will be sorry presently for this!

Philip: My dear idiot, it’s clear to me that you are helpless. If you make a mistake you will lose your job. That order’s not worth the paper it’s written on.

D. V. [pulling out a Swan fountain-pen]: But it is within my power to alter it.

Dorothy [in alarm]: Oh, Philip, be careful what you say!

Philip: My dear, he doesn’t know which name to put. In any case we can report the circumstances to head office and get him the sack.