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 that, though people often call for me, they are always irritated when I arrive.

Dorothy [politely]: Your experience must be a wide one, Mr. Death.

D. V.: I’m afraid I may have given you a wrong impression. I should have made it clear that I am merely Death’s representative for the Parliamentary Division of Battersea.

Dorothy [disappointed]: Oh! I see.

Philip: But granting your bona fides, I still find this personal visit a little extraordinary. You have come for us?

D. V.: I have come for one of you. Dorothy and Philip: We refuse to be separated!

D. V.: I’m very sorry; these awkward situations are only too common. But the notice is only made out for one.

Philip: And for which of us, pray?

D. V. [fumbling in his black bag, and pulling out a document]: That is just the difficulty under which I am laboring. You see, the name is quite clear: Philip Oldcastle. But an unfortunate blot renders it impossible for me to say whether the order is made out for Mr. or Mrs. Philip Oldcastle. In my experience the accident is unique.

Philip: It seems to me to be a piece of abominable carelessness.

D. V.: [nervously]: I had hoped that the