Page:Eminent Authors of Contemporary Japan, volume 2.pdf/170

144 Then the time came for me to start. First of all I threw a knife so that it would stick above her head. It flew and stuck to the board two inches higher than usual. After that I threw two knives one after the other, so that they would stick near her arm-pits, which were showing, for her arms were raised on a level with her shoulders. When the knives slipped from my hand, they felt sticky to the touch. It then came to my mind that I was not sure where they would fly. Each time after that, as knife after knife flew through the air and stuck to the board, I felt greatly relieved. I strove to be composed, but the strain caused me a lot of worry as I prepared my arm for throwing. Then I threw another knife to the left side of her neck. But just I was going to throw another to the right side, her facial expression suddenly changed. A pitiful expression of intense terror seemed to take hold of her. Perhaps she had some intuition that the next knife would strike her. I cannot say. I then began to feel strongly the influence of her fear and terror stealing into my mind. My giddnessgiddiness [sic] increased, nevertheless I took aim, and threw my knife with all my might, aiming it at a darkness inteadinstead [sic] of at any target.”

The judge was silent.

“At last I have killed her!” I said to myself.

“Well, do you mean you did it intentionally?”

“Yes, sir. At that moment I suddenly felt that I had done it intentionally.”

“You knelt beside her and prayed, I’m told?”

“Yes, sir, that was merely a cunning idea which by