Page:Elmer Gantry (1927).djvu/222

 tion—if the sad old world would but listen, we could solve all its sorrows and difficulties—yet with this message ready, we have to be practical and raise money for our expenses and charities. Oh, the world doesn't appreciate evangelists. Think what we can do for a resident minister! These preachers who talk about conducting their own revivals make me sick! They don't know the right technique. Conducting revivals is a profession. One must know all the tricks. With all modesty, I figure that I know just what will bring in the converts."

"I'm sure you do, Sister Falconer," from Binch. "Say, do you and Brother Gantry like union revivals?"

"You bet your life we do," said Brother Gantry. "We won't conduct a revival unless we can have the united support of all the evangelical preachers in town."

"I think you are mistaken, Brother Gantry," said Dr. Binch. "I find that I have the most successful meetings with only a few churches, but all of them genuinely O. K. With all the preachers joined together, you have to deal with a lot of these two-by-four hick preachers with churches about the size of woodsheds and getting maybe eleven hundred a year, and yet they think they have the right to make suggestions! No, sir! I want to do business with the big down-town preachers that are used to doing things in a high-grade way and that don't kick if you take a decent-sized offering out of town!"

"Yuh, there's something to be said for that," said Elmer. "That's what the Happy Sing Evangelist—you know, Bill Buttle—said to us one time."

"But I hope you don't like Brother Buttle!" protested Dr. Binch.

"Oh, no! Anyway, I didn't like him," said Sharon, which was a wifely slap at Elmer.

Dr. Binch snorted, "He's a scoundrel! There's rumors about his wife's leaving him. Why is it that in such a high calling as ours there are so many rascals? Take Dr. Mortonby! Calling himself a cover-to-cover literalist, and then his relations to the young woman who sings for him—I would shock you, Sister Falconer, if I told you what I suspect."

"Oh, I know. I haven't met him, but I hear dreadful things," wailed Sharon. "And Wesley Zigler! They say he drinks! And an evangelist! Why, if any person connected with me were so much as to take one drink, out he goes!"