Page:Elizabeth Fry (Pitman 1884).djvu/15

Rh to the Oratorio. The Prince is to be there, and by all accounts it will be quite a grand sight, and there will be the finest music; but if my father does not wish me to go, much as I wish it, I will give it up with pleasure, if it he in my power, without a murmur I went to the Oratorio. I enjoyed it, but I spoke sadly at random—what a bad habit!

There is much difference between being obstinate and steady. If I am bid to do a thing, my spirit revolts; if I am asked to do a thing, I am willing A thought passed my mind that if I had some religion I should he superior to what I am; it would be a bias to better actions. I think I am by degrees losing many excellent qualities I am more cross, more proud, more vain, more extravagant. I lay it to my great love of gaiety and the world I feel, I know I am falling I do believe if I had a little true religion I should have a greater support than I have now; hut I have the greatest fear of religion, because I never saw a person religious who was not enthusiastic.

It will be seen that Elizabeth at this period enjoyed the musical and social pleasures of Norwich, while at the same time she had decided leanings towards the plain religious customs of the Friends. It is not wonderful that her heart was in a state of unrest and agitation, that at times she scarcely knew what she longed for nor what she desired to forsake. The society with which she was accustomed to mingle contained some known in Quaker parlance as "unbelievers"; perhaps in our day they would be regarded as holding "advanced opinions." One of the most intimate visitors at Earlham was a gentleman belonging to the Roman Catholic communion, but his acquaintance seemed rather to be a benefit than otherwise, for he referred the young Gurneys in all matters of faith to the "written word" rather than to the opinions of men or books generally. Another visitor, a lady afterwards known to literature as Mrs. Schimmelpenninck, was instrumental in leading them to form sound opinions upon the religious questions of the day.