Page:Edward the Seventh.pdf/34

18 You have removed yourself from public life, Have I not in some measure ta'en your place, And, aided by my darling wife, the pet Of all the land, performed a regal part; Held drawing-rooms and levées, given balls, Gone here, there, everywhere throughout the shires, Promoting loyalty by gathering crowds, And giving them a show at which to gaze? And is it nought that in your noble name I've played the host to many kingly guests? Been bored by ill-bred, savage visitors; Amused a Sultan, put up with a Shah, And entertained in turn a Royal tribe? O, mother mine, 'tis no such easy task To play the host to order as I do; Whoe'er the guest, white, black, or good or bad, Pleasant or otherwise, I've yet to wreathe The same bland smile about my lips; to press All hands the same; to embrace all cheeks alike; To vow how charmed I am; to laugh, to chat, To make them feel at home what time I wish That most of them were quite abroad; and then The programme of amusement; 'tis the same For all; its horrible monotony Has grown into a torture hard to bear; I know its every item. Item one— The visit to the Mansion House. Gross meats, Full-bodied wines, and fuller-bodied men; Excess exalted, ignorance enthroned, Cockney vulgarity apotheosized, And filthy Mammon made into a God; A Lord Mayor at your side for several hours, An Aldermanic vista 'fore your eyes, A plague of Common Councilmen around— Common's a word not nearly strong enough To qualify the fathers of the City— And then a floor knee-deep in mangled words, In wounded concords; and in h's dropped.— Such an ordeal how many times I've passed I dread to think. Then there is item two— The visit to the Sydenham show in state; The inevitable concert in the nave; The noise upon the organ; the display Of squibs and rockets in the grounds outside; The crowds of snobs who sit and calmly stare At us exhibited in Royal pen; Directors blessed, 'twould seem, with no back bones, Who bow and scrape and give us unripe fruit, And bilious delicacies, which no man Possessed of sense or liver dares to eat. Shall I go on, my mother? Item three— The Chiswick Garden Party, where are asked The strangest set of guests that ever met Under a common roof: or stay, I mean Upon a common lawn; for, Heaven be thanked, The medley does not come into the house; You know the scene, my mother, you have come Upon occasion. Fancy then my task, When hitching in my arm my royal guest, We walk, and I point out to him the folk The Heir to Goldland's sceptre has to honour. What would he think should I to him say "There, Your Majesty, a bankrupt scribbler walks, And next to him an usurer, who combines His money-lending with the spread of news. Beneath yon plane-tree sits a genius, who Fosters the arts, helped by another's wife; Nearer to us a Teuton Hebrew stands, Who finds his Goshen in our little isle, And plunders the Egyptians with a will; Yonder's a lady who, if all were known, Would long ago have looked on Hannen's face; Close to us, see"


 * Queen (impatiently). Come, come, enough of this;

Thoud'st talk all night if I would list to thee, And tell till morn thy seeming grievous tale. 'Tis true thou dost the work that once I did, But thence thou'st honour prematurely gained; Thou hast, in sooth, tried on the kingly crown Before 'tis time: thou should'st not carp at this, And make it subject for a dunning speech; Thy conduct is not dutiful in this.


 * The Prince. But, mother mine,


 * Queen.But me no buts; my plan

Is well matured; the site will be yon park: And such th' elaborate details of my scheme, That hours would not suffice to tell them all; But, briefly: I propose a monster Temple Which would this Castle comfortably hold: Its architecture splendid as may be; Marble its walls; its doors of massive brass; Its inner fittings gorgeous as were those Which Solomon


 * The Prince.Unfilial it may be,