Page:Edward Prime-Stevenson - The Intersexes.djvu/181

 excitement at his face and his exposed bust and outstretched sturdy, long legs; for he had partly thrown off the coverlets in his sleep. Becoming bolder, as A— did not wake, I yielded to an irresistible wish, even at risk of arousing him. I gently turned down the sheet, and for the first time looked, with a perfect fever of interest and desire too, at A—'s well-developed genitals. For the first time I really could see, and "study", if so I may speak, such organs, and especially the admired A—'s. With this came a boldness, a sexual fire to my young nature that I well recall, and which led me to a sheer audacity, a strange evidence of my inborn feeling. I saw that A— slept like a log, and that he was not likely to be disturbed if I touched him. So I slipped into bed by his side. Without caring for consequences, too excited with sexual desire (at seven years!) to "mind" much the situation if I should waken A— by accident, dexterously I came nearer and nearer to a contact with him, laid my head against him, and then I began gently with' him pen. in os, without disturbing him. This continued several minutes. A— did not waken, but gradually was excited. I do not know what would have ended the situation, had not a sudden noise in the hallway terrified me, and sent me flying back to my own little bed. As it happened, A— was obliged to leave my brother that day. He did so, to my profound regret. I remember how I kissed him and, as he had taken a fancy to me, how he embraced and kissed me, at leave-taking. I did not see him for many months. But when next A— came to our house, the situation was for me far more explicit. I had grown older, and was considerably more mature in my precocious homosexualism. This time, A— slept in the same room. My brother, was also there, but in another bed. I slept now with one of the two, now with the other, as my room was wanted for my cousin. A— at this time disclosed himself to me as a homosexual boy, of strong maturity in the trait. He made his advances early,