Page:Dostoyevsky - The House of the Dead, Collected Edition, 1915.djvu/134

 “The German was surprised but he pulled himself together.

“‘I do not fear you,’ said he, ‘and I beg you as an honourable man to drop your joke at once and I do not fear you.’

“‘That’s a lie,’ said I, ‘you do I’

“Why, he did not dare to move his head away, he just sat there.

“‘No,’ said he, ‘you that will never dare.’

“‘Why don’t I dare?’ said I.

“‘Because,’ said he, ‘that is you strictly forbidden and for that they will you strictly punish.’

“The devil only knows what that fool of a German was after. If he hadn’t egged me on he’d have been living to this day. It all came from our disputing.

“‘So I daren’t, you think?’

“‘No.’

“‘I daren’t?’

“‘To treat me so you will never dare.’

“‘Well, there then, sausage!’ I went bang and he rolled off his chair. The women screamed.

“I put the pistol in my pocket and made off, and as I was going into the fortress I threw the pistol into the nettles at the gate.

“I went home, lay down on my bed and thought: They’ll come and take me directly.’ One hour passed and then another—they did not take me. And when it got dark, such misery came over me; I went out; I wanted to see Luise, whatever happened. I went by the watchmaker’s shop. There was a crowd there and police. I went to my old friend: Fetch Luise!’ said I. I waited a little and then I saw Luise, running up. She threw herself on my neck and cried, ‘It’s all my fault,’ said she, ‘for listening to my aunt.’ She told me that her aunt had gone straight home after what happened that morning and was so frightened that she was taken ill, and said nothing. ‘She’s told no one herself and she’s forbidden me to,’ says she. ‘She is afraid and feels “let them do what they like.” No one saw us this morning,’ said Luise. He had sent his servant away too, for he was afraid of her. She would have scratched his eyes out, if she had known that he meant to get married. There were none of the workmen in the house either, he had sent them all out. He prepared the coffee himself and got lunch ready. And the relation had been silent all his life, he never used to say anything and when it had all happened that morning, he picked