Page:Dostoyevsky - The House of the Dead, Collected Edition, 1915.djvu/100

 thick posts underneath and pressing on them with twenty hands, levered up the beams which to my astonishment came up now whole and uninjured. The work went like wild fire. Every one seemed wonderfully intelligent all of a sudden. There was not a word wasted, not an oath was heard, every one seemed to know what to say, what to do, where to stand, what advice to give. Just half an hour before the drum beat, the last of the task was finished, and the convicts went home tired but quite contented, though they had only saved half an hour of their working day. But as far as I was concerned I noticed one thing; wherever I turned to help them during the work, everywhere I was superfluous, everywhere I was in the way, everywhere I was pushed aside almost with abuse.

The lowest ragamuffin, himself a wretched workman, who did not dare to raise his voice among the other convicts who were sharper and cleverer than he, thought himself entitled to shout at me on the pretext that I hindered him if I stood beside him. At last one of the smarter ones said to me plainly and coarsely:

“Where are you shoving? Get away! Why do you poke yourself where you are not wanted?”

“Your game’s up!” another chimed in at once.

“You’d better take a jug and go round asking for half-pence to build a fine house and waste upon snuff, but there’s nothing for you to do here.”

I had to stand apart, and to stand apart when all are working makes one feel ashamed. But when it happened that I did walk away and stood at the end of the barge they shouted at once:

“Fine workmen they’ve given us; what can one get done with them? You can get nothing done.”

All this, of course, was done on purpose, for it amused every one. They must have a gibe at one who has been a “fine gentleman,” and, of course, they were glad to have the chance.

It may well be understood now why, as I have said already, my first question on entering the prison was how I should behave, what attitude I should take up before these people. I had a foreboding that I should often come into collision with them like this. But in spite of all difficulties I made up my mind not to change my plan of action which I had partly thought out during those days; I knew it was right. I had made up my mind to behave as simply and independently as possible, not to make any special effort to get on intimate terms with them,