Page:Dickens - A Child s History of England, 1900.djvu/566

136 of this pony having been literally half asleep at the time he was seen, and having closed only one eye?

"The president observed that whether the pony was half asleep or fast asleep, there could be no doubt that the association was awake, and therefore that they had better get the business over and go to dinner. He had certainly never seen anything analogous to this pony; but he was not prepared to doubt its existence, for he had seen many queerer ponies in his time, though he did not pretend to have seen any more remarkable donkeys than the other gentlemen around him,

"Professor John Ketch was then called upon to exhibit the skull of the late Mr. Greenacre, which he produced from a blue bag, remarking, on being invited to make any observations that occurred to him, 'that he'd 'pound it as that 'ere 'spectable section had never seed a more gamerer cove nor he vos.'

"A most animated discussion upon this interesting relic ensued; and some difference of opinion arising respecting the real character of the deceased gentleman, Mr. Blubb delivered a lecture upon the cranium before him, clearly showing that Mr. Greenacre possessed the organ of destructiveness to a most unusual extent, with a most remarkable development of the organ of carveativeness. Sir Hookham Snivey wasproceeding to combat this opinion, when Professor Ketch suddenly interrupted the proceedings by exclaiming, with great excitement of manner, 'Walker!'

'The president begged to call the learned gentleman to order.

"Professor Ketch.—'Order be blowed! you've got the wrong 'un, I tell you. It ain't no 'ed at all; it's a coker-nut as my brother-in-law has been a-carvin' to hornament his new baked tatur-stall vot's a-coming down here vile the 'sociation's in the town. Hand over, vill you?"

"With these words Professor Ketch hastily repossessed himself of the cocoanut, and drew forth the skull, in mistake for which he had exhibited it. A most interesting conversation ensued; but, as there appeared some doubt ultimately wliether the skull was Mr. Greenacres', or a hospital patient's, or a pauper's or a man's, or a woman's, or a monkey's, no paiticular result was attained.

"I cannot," says our talented correspondent, in