Page:Dickens - A Child s History of England, 1900.djvu/561

Rh make any remarks that they thought proper. The charge of those amusements would amount to very little more than they already cost, and the inventor submitted that the public would be much benefited and comforted by the proposed arrangement.

"Professor Nogo wished to be informed what amount of automaton police-force it was proposed to raise in the first instance.

"Mr. Coppernose replied that it was proposed to begin with seven divisions of police of a score each, lettered from A to G inclusive. It was proposed that not more than half the number should be placed on active duty, and that the remainder should be kept on shelves in the police-office, ready to be called out at a moment's notice.

"The president, awarding the utmost merit to the ingenious gentleman who had originated the idea, doubted whether the automaton police would quite answer the purpose. lie feared that noblemen and gentlemen would perhaps require the excitement of thrashing living subjects.

"Mr. Coppernose submitted, that as the usual odds in such cases were ten noblemen to one policeman or cab-driver, it could make very little difference, in point of excitement, whether the policeman or cab-driver were a man or a block. The great advantage would be that the policeman's limb might be knocked off, and yet he would be in a condition to do duty next day. lie might even give his evidence next morning with his head in his hand, and give it equally well.

"Professor Muff.—Will you allow me to ask you, sir, of what materials it is intended that the magistrates' heads shall be composed?

"Mr. Coppernose.—The magistrates will have wooden heads of course, and they will be made of the toughest and thickest materials that can possibly be obtained.

"Professor Muff.—I am quite satisfied. This is a great invention.

"Professor Nogo.—I see but one objection to it. It appears to me that the magistrates ought to talk.

"Mr. Coppernose no sooner heard this suggestion than he touched a small spring in each of the two models of magistrates which were placed upon the table; one of the figures immediately began to exclaim with great volubility,