Page:Dickens - A Child s History of England, 1900.djvu/535

THE MUDFOG ASSOCIATION. than a chaise-umbrella, which had been raised by no other artificial means than the simple application of highly carbonated soda water as manure. He explained that by scooping out the head, which would afford a new and delicious species of nourishment for the poor, a parachute, in principle somewhat similar to that constructed by M. Garnerin, was at once obtained; the stalk of course being kept downward. He added that he was perfectly willing to make a descent from a height of not less than three miles and a quarter; and had, in fact, already proposed the same to the proprietors of the Vauxhall Gardens, who, in the handsomest manner, at once consented to his wishes, and appointed an early day next summer for the undertaking; merely stipulating that the rim of the cauliflower should be previously broken in three or four places to insure the safety of the descent.

"The president congratulated the public on the grand gala in store for them, and warmly eulogized the proprietors of the establishment alluded to, for their love of science, and regard for the safety of human life, both of which did them the highest honor.

"A member wished to know how many thousand additional lamps the royal property would be illuminated with, on the night after the descent.

"Mr. Wigsby replied that the point was not yet finally decided; but he believed it was proposed, over and above the ordinary illuminations, to exhibit in various devices eight millions and a half of additional lamps.

"The member expressed himself much gratified with this announcement.

"Mr. Blunderum delighted the section with a most interesting and valuable paper 'on the last moments of the learned pig,' which produced a very strong impression upon the assembly, the account being compiled from the personal recollections of his favorite attendant. The account stated in the most emphatic terms that the animal's name was not Toby, but Solomon; and distinctly proved that he could have no near relatives in the profession, as many designing persons had falsely stated, inasmuch as his father, mother, brothers and sisters, had all fallen victims to the butcher at different times. An uncle of his, indeed, had with very great