Page:Dickens - A Child s History of England, 1900.djvu/441

Rh chopped off one night as he was burglariously getting in at a window, by a brave and lovely servant-maid (whom the aquiline-nosed woman, though not at all answering the description, always mysteriously implied to be herself.) After several years, this brave and lovely servant-maid was married to the landlord of a country inn: which landlord had this remarkable characteristic, that he always wore a silk nightcap, and never would, on any consideration, take it off. At last, one night, when he was fast asleep, the brave and lovely woman lifted up his silk nightcap on the right side, and found that be had no ear there; upon which, she sagaciously perceived that he was the clipped house-breaker, who had married her with the intention of putting her to death. She immediately heated the poker and terminated his career, for which, she was taken to King George upon his throne, and received the compliments of royalty on her great discretion and valor. This same narrator, who had a ghoulish pleasure, I have long been persuaded, in terrifying me to the utmost confines of my reason, had another authentic anecdote within her own experience, founded, I now believe, upon Raymond and Agnes or the Bleeding Nun. She said it happened to her brother-in-law, who was immensely rich—which my father was not; and immensely tall—which my father was not.

It was always a point with this ghoule to present my dearest relations and friends to my youthful mind, under circumstances of disparaging contrast. The brotber-in-law was riding once, through a forest, on a magnificent horse (we had no magnificent horse at our house) attended by a favorite Newfoundland dog (we had no dog), when he found himself benighted, and came to an inn. A dark woman opened the door, and he asked her if he could have a bed there? She answered yes, and put his horse in the stable, and took him into a room where there were two dark men. While he was at supper, a parrot in the room began to talk, saying, "Blood, blood! Wipe up the blood!" Upon which one of the dark men wrung the parrot's neck, and said he was fond of roasted parrots, and he meant to have this one for breakfast in the morning. After eating and drinking heartily, the immensely rich tall brother-in-law went to bed; but, he was rather vexed, because they had shut his dog in