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THE DIARY OF A NOBODY. looked at them, and called out: "Mr. Willowly! do you know anything about these?" holding up my tickets. The gentleman called to came up and examined my tickets, and said: "Who gave you these?" I said, rather indignantly: "Mr. Merton, of course." He said: "Merton? Who's he?" I answered, rather sharply: "You ought to know, his name's good at any theatre in London." He replied: "Oh! is it? Well, it ain't no good here. These tickets, which are not dated, were issued under Mr. Swinstead's management, which has since changed hands." While I was having some very unpleasant words with the man, James, who had gone upstairs with the ladies, called out: "Come on!" I went up after them, and a very civil attendant said: "This way, please, box H." I said to James: "Why, how on earth did you manage it?" and to my horror he replied: "Why, paid for it of course."

This was humiliating enough, and I could scarcely follow the play, but I was doomed to still further humiliation. I was leaning out of the box, when my tie—a little black bow which fastened on to the stud by means of a new patent—fell into the pit below. A clumsy man not noticing it, had his foot on it for ever so long before he discovered it. He then 40