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THE DIARY OF A NOBODY. office, I have been rewarded with promotion and a rise in salary of £100."

Lupin gave three cheers, and we rapped the table furiously, which brought in Sarah to see what the matter was. Lupin ordered us to "fill up" again, and addressing us upstanding, said: "Having been in the firm of Job Cleanands, stock and share-brokers, a few weeks, and not having paid particular attention to the interests of my superiors in office, my Guv'nor, as a reward to me, allotted me £5 worth of shares in a really good thing. The result is, today I have made £200." I said: "Lupin, you are joking." "No, Guv., it 's the good old truth; Job Cleanands put me on to Chlorates."

21.—I am very much concerned at Lupin having started a pony-trap. I said: "Lupin, are you justified in this outrageous extravagance?" Lupin replied: "Well, one must get to the City somehow. I've only hired it, and can give it up any time I like." I repeated my question: "Are you justified in this extravagance?" He replied: "Look here, Guv.; excuse me saying so, but you 're a bit out of date. It does not pay nowadays, fiddling about over small things. I don't mean anything personal, Guv'nor. My boss says if I take his tip, and stick to big things, I can 161