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DIAMONDS TO SIT ON

The building of the Stargorod tramway provided the town with much amusement, and there were numerous jokes about it in the papers. At last the depot was built, the tram-lines were laid from the railway station to the slaughter-house, and from the market to the cemetery. The opening ceremony was supposed to take place in October, but the trams did not arrive in time and the inauguration had to be postponed until the first of May. On that day everything was ready. The whole of Stargorod was out in the streets. The new tram depot was hung with flags, garlands, and slogans. A militiaman was galloping after an ice­ cream merchant who had managed to slip through the cordon. A microphone had been fastened on to one of the gates. Delegates crowded round a platform, and an orchestra began to tune up. A drum lay on the ground. Ten new trams numbered from 701 to 710 stood in the brightly-ht depot. A journalist from Moscow was looking for the engineer to ask him some questions about the trams. Although he knew perfectly well what he was going to say about the opening ceremony, including the speeches which had not yet been given, he continued to look for the engineer. The crowd shouted, sang, and chewed sunflower seeds as they waited for the first tram to come out of the depot. A man chmbed on to the platform and began to address the crowd : ‘ I declare this tram depot of Stargorod to be now open.’ The orchestra played the ‘ International ’ three times. There were speeches. ‘ And, comrades,’ concluded one of the speakers, ‘ I think that this tram which is about to run out of the depot has been brought into existence through the efforts of you, comrades, the workers, who have worked so very conscientiously, and too through the devoted service of that honest Soviet specialist, chief engineer Truekhov.’