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DIAMONDS TO SIT ON

Towards dinner-time a locksmith bought the astro­ labe for three roubles. ‘ It measures all right,’ said the young man to his customer, ' so long as there is something to measure.’ Having got rid of his curious instrument the young man went into ' The Comer of Taste ’ for dinner. After that he set off to have a look round the town. In Soviet Street he stopped outside a fine-looking, two-storied building marked ' Number 28. S.S.R., R.S.F.S.R. Second House of Social Assurance.’ He stopped to get a light from the porter who was sitting on a stone bench outside the gate. ‘ WeU, old man,’ said he, taking a puff at his cigarette, ‘ any young women to marry in your town ? ’ The old man did not show any surprise. ' Some like fine mares and some hke nags. Tastes differ,’ he replied, being quite ready to talk. ‘ I’ve no more questions to ask,’ said the young man rapidly, and immediately asked another : ‘ Such a fine house and no girls ? ’ ‘ Girls ? Why they’ve been hunting with lanterns for our girls in the next world for many a long day. They’ve left us only the old crocks. Don’t you know what this is ? It’s the State workhouse, where every­ thing is found for ’em and full board included.’ ‘ Oh ! I see,’ said the young man. ‘ So this lot were bom before the historical materiahsm came into fashion ? ’ ‘ That’s right. They were bom when they were bom.’ ‘ And what was here before then ? ’ ‘ When ? ’ ‘ Why, then, in the old days before the revolution.’ ‘ Oh, then ! Why, my master lived here.’ ‘ Was he a bourgeois ? ’ ‘ Bourgeois yourself. He was no bourgeois. He was a marshal of nobihty.’ ‘ You mean a proletarian ? ’