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DIAMONDS TO SIT ON

‘ To make it grow ! What nonsense ! ’ said Hippolyte. ‘ I want a good dye.’ ‘ Oh ! if you want to dye it, here’s a wonderful preparation called “ Titanic I’ve just got it in from the customs’ office ; it’s contraband. It won’t come off either with hot or cold water, soap, or even petrol. It’s deep black, and a bottle that will last you half a year costs only three roubles and twelve copecks. And as you’re a good customer of mine, I don’t mind telling you I can most strongly recommend it.’ Hippolyte turned the square bottle of ‘ Titanic ’ round in his hand, examined the label, sighed, and then put his money down on the counter. At home he began to sprinkle his head and moustache with the dye. There was a most appalling stench. After dinner the smell was not so bad, but his mous­ tache was dry and glued together. It was with great difficulty that he combed it out. The black colour seemed to have a green sheen on it, but there was no time to dip his hair a second time. He took a list of jewels out of his mother-in-law’s box, which he had found the previous day. He then counted all his ready money, locked up the house, put the key in his pocket, and taking Express Number 7 set off for Stargorod.