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ruin you. But I tell you what, you can be my secre­ tary. What d’you say to that ? Forty roubles a month and your keep, and four free evenings a week. Your clothes, tea money, and insurance. Well, what do you say to the offer ? ’ Hippolyte pushed his tormentor to one side and walked on rapidly. Such jokes roused him to a pitch of frenzy. Bender overtook Hippolyte outside Ivanopulo’s room. ‘ Are you really offended ? ’ he asked. ‘ I was only joking. You’ll get your three per cent. Believe me. Pussy, three per cent is quite enough for you.” Hippolyte glowered at him and walked into the room. three per cent. Say you agree. Anybody else would. You won’t need to pay rental, thanks to Ivanopulo, who is in Tver for a year, and if you don’t want to stay here, then you can always come and be my valet. It’ll be a nice soft job.’ When Bender saw that Hippolyte refused to be provoked any further he yawned, stretched himself, took a deep breath, and then said : ‘ Well, my friend, get your pockets ready. We shall go to the club at dawn. That’s the best time. The night watchman win be asleep and will be dreaming sweet dreams for which they often lose their jobs. And, meanwhile, dear friend, I advise you to have a rest.’ Bender lay down on the three chairs, which had been gathered from various parts of Moscow, and before falhng asleep, he mumbled something about: ‘ As my valet. Good wages. . . . Keep. . . . Tea money. . . . Well, well, I was only joking. . . . Let the good work go on.’ Then the great schemer went to sleep. He fell into a deep, peaceful and dreamless sleep. Hippolyte went out into the street. He was angry and felt desperate. The moon was shining and there
 * Listen, Pussy,’ said Bender. ‘ Say you agree to