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DIAMONDS TO SIT ON

‘ Rot! The less you practise on your tin cans the better! ’ As neither side would give way they all began to rehearse simultaneously. The brass band played a march, while the jazz band played a negro dance called The Antelope of the Zambesi*. The effect was ghastly and the director of the Financial Commission was so exasperated that he came out and stopped the performance. By eleven o’clock the great work was finished, and Bender and Hippolyte began to walk backwards drag­ ging ‘ The Sower ’ towards the captain’s bridge. Fatty was running ahead waving his arms excitedly. Every­ body helped and ' The Sower ’ was soon lifted up and hung as a poster. In half an hour’s time the elec­ trician had fitted three lights at the back of the poster, and the only thing left to be done was to switch on the lights. The steamer was approaching the town of Vassuki, and all the passengers on board the Scriabin had been summoned on deck. Hippolyte and Bender stood near the poster, watching the crowd. The typists, the messengers, the actors, the brass band, and all the rest of them were craning their necks to see the poster. ‘ Put on the lights ! ’ shouted Fatty. The lights were switched on and Bender looked at the crowd. A pink light was shining on to their faces. The audience roared with laughter and then became ominously silent. A stem voice said : ‘ Where’s the manager ? ’ It was so commanding that Fatty rushed down the ladder from behind the poster. Look at this ! said the voice. ‘ Look at vour work I ’ ‘ We’ll be turned out in a minute,’ whispered Bender to Hippolyte. Fatty swooped down on Bender hke an eagle. i Bender brazenly, ' what do you think of It ? Do you approve ? ’