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 THE COLUMBUS THEATRE

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Perhaps he is from the Narkompros. I seem to remem­ ber having seen him there.’ As he went on handing out slips to the rest of the queue the manager tried to remember where he had seen those clear eyes before, but it was only when all the passes had been handed out and the lights in the theatre had been lowered that the manager suddenly remembered where he had seen that confident look before. It was in 1922 in the Taganka prison, when he was sitting in there himself for some very trifling offence. There was laughter in the seventh row of the stalls. Bender was enjoying the overture, which was being executed by the orchestra on bottles, saxophones and large regimental drums. There was a shrill whistle from a flute and the curtains blowing a slight draught on to the audience were drawn aside. Hippolyte, who had been accustomed to a classical interpretation of Gogol’s Marriage, was surprised that the central character, Podkolesin, was nowhere to be seen. He looked for him everywhere, but all he could see were triangles dangling from the ceiling and painted in all colours of the rainbow. There were no doors or windows. Ladies in large black hats cut out of cardboard were dancing under the triangles. Suddenly Podkolesin appeared, riding on his servant’s back. He was dressed in the uniform of a court chamberlain, and after chasing away the ladies he yelled : ‘ Stepan ! ’ and at the same moment he leaped off his servant’s back to one side of the stage, where he stood stiU in a difficult pose. ‘ Stepan ! ’ he repeated as he made another leap into the air. But as Stepan, who was standing next to him dressed in a leopard-skin, did not trouble to answer him, Podkolesin asked him in a tragic voice : ‘ Why are you as dumb as the League of Nations ? ’ ‘ Because Austen Chamberlain has frightened me so ! ’ answered Stepan as he scratched his leopard-skin.