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DIAMONDS TO SIT ON

have discovered anything. You should go down on your knees to me. Listen ! Your furniture is of no value whatever to a museum. It’s place is not in a museum, but more likely a barracks.’ ‘ What rot! ’ shouted Hippolyte indignantly. ‘ Silence ! ’ said Bender coldly. ‘ You don’t know what has been happening. If we don’t get hold of our furniture at once it’ll be too late and we’ll never see it. I’ve just had an extremely difficult talk with the curator of this historical rubbish-heap.’ ' Well,’ shouted Hippolyte, ‘ what did he say ? ’ excited. " Tell me,” I said, “ how do you account for the fact that the furniture sent to you under a confiscation order from Stargorod is not to be found in the Museum ? ” Of course I was amiable, and he said : “ What furniture do you mean ? ” I immediately showed him the confiscation orders. He dived into his books, searched for about half an hour, and, what do you think ? Where do you think it is ? ’ ‘ Lost ? ’ said Hippolyte. ‘ No,’ said Bender. ‘ Imagine it: it has been preserved through all the upheaval. As I have already told you, it has absolutely no museum value, and for seven years it has been stacked in a shed ; and yester­ day-notice, only yesterday—it was sent away to be auctioned. If it has not been sold either yesterday or to-day then the chairs are ours. Now are you satis­ fied ? ’ ‘ Quick I ’ shouted Hippolyte. ‘ Cab ! ’ yelled Bender as they tore down the steps of the Museum of Furniture. ‘ You should go down on your knees to me. Don’t be nervous. We shall have wine and women and cards, and I’ll be able to pay you for your blue waistcoat.’ They dashed into the auction-room like two wild ponies and saw what they had been looking for aU this time. The ten chairs were lined up against the
 * He told me all I wanted to know. Now don’t get