Page:Devotions - Donne - 1840.djvu/127

 comment upon that; thou callest the bed tribulation, great tribulation. How shall they come to thee whom thou hast nailed to their bed? Thou art in the congregation, and I in a solitude: when the centurion's servant lay sick at home, his master was fain to come to Christ; the sick man could not. Their friend lay sick of the palsy, and the four charitable men were fain to bring him to Christ; he could not come. Peter's wife's mother lay sick of a fever, and Christ came to her; she could not come to him. My friends may carry me home to thee, in their prayers in the congregation; thou must come home to me in the visitation of thy Spirit, and in the seal of thy sacrament. But when I am cast into this bed, my slack sinews are iron fetters, and those thin sheets iron doors upon me; and, Lord, I have loved the habitation of thine house, and the place where thine honour dwelleth. 1 lie here, and say, Blessed are they that dwell in thy house ; but I cannot say, 1 will come into thy house; I may say, In thy fear will I worship towards thy holy temple, but 1 cannot say in thy holy temple. And, Lord, the zeal of thy house eats me up, as fast as my fever; it is not a recusancy, for I would come, but it is an excommunication, I must not. But, Lord, thou art Lord of hosts, and lovest action; why callest thou me from my calling? In the grave no man shall praise thee; in the door of the grave, this sick bed, no man shall hear me praise thee: thou hast not opened my lips, that my mouth might show thee thy praise, but that my mouth might show forth thy praise. But thine apostle's fear takes hold of me, that when 1 have preached to others, I myself should be a cast-