Page:Cyclopedia of illustrations for public speakers, containing facts, incidents, stories, experiences, anecdotes, selections, etc., for illustrative purposes, with cross-references; (IA cyclopediaofillu00scotrich).pdf/650



During the South African War, when that country was under martial law, every letter which was sent home had to pass through the hands of the press censor.

A private in the Yorkshire Volunteers had sent four or five letters home, telling his parents about the doings of the regiment, which portions had been obliterated by the censor, and were therefore unreadable on their arrival at the destination.

He decided to get square with the censor, and at the foot of the next letter he wrote the following words:

"Please look under the stamp."

"At the censor's office the letter was opened and read as usual. The officer in charge spent some time in steaming the stamp from the envelop so that he could read the message which he was certain he would find there.

At last his patience was rewarded; but his feelings can be better imagined than described when he read these words:

"Was it hard to get off?"—Tid-Bits.

(2759)

We never can tell when rudeness and ill-manners may return upon our own heads:

George Ade, in the early days of his career, before his "Fables in Slang" had brought him fame, says the New York Tribune, called one morning in Chicago upon a Sunday editor, on a mission from a theatrical manager.

"I have brought you this manuscript," he began, but the editor, looking up at the tall, timid youth, interrupted:

"Just throw the manuscript in the waste-basket, please," he said. "I'm very busy just now, and haven't time to do it myself."

Mr. Ade obeyed calmly. He resumed:

"I have come from the Theater, and the manuscript I have just thrown in the waste-basket is your comic farce of 'The Erring Son,' which the manager asks me to return to you with thanks. He suggests that you sell it to an undertaker, to be read at funerals."

Then Mr. Ade smiled gently and withdrew.

(2760)

RETARDATION

Many Christians converted years ago show no more progress than the subject of this sketch:

"There is a young man in England," says The Dietetic and Hygienic Gazette, "who at the age of twenty-four is developing at the rate of only one-sixth of that of the average human being. At present he is learning his alphabet and can count up to ten only. During the last nineteen years he has eaten but three meals a week, has slept twenty-four hours and played twenty-four hours, without the slightest variation. In spite of his twenty-four years he looks no older than a boy of four or five and is only thirty-six inches in height. For the same period his development physically and mentally has been at only one-sixth the ordinary rate, while absolutely regular and perfect in every other way. At his birth this child weighed ten pounds and in no way differed from any other child. He grew and thrived in the usual way until he attained the age of five. Then his progress was suddenly and mysteriously arrested, and since then six years have been the same to him as one year to the normal person. He has attracted the attention of many medical and scientific men, more than one of whom has exprest the conviction that this remarkable man will live to be no less than three centuries old." (Text.)

(2761)

RETICENCE

There are times and circumstances in which one may well refuse to be pumped of what he knows.

A Scotch laddie was summoned to give evidence against his father. "Come, my wee mon, tell us what ye ken aboot this affair." "Weel, ye ken Inverness Street?" "I do, laddie," said his worship. "Weel, ye gang along and turn into the square." "Yes, yes." "Turn to the right up into High Street till ye come to a pump." "I know the old pump well," said his honor. "Weel," added the laddie, "ye may gang and pump it, for ye'll no pump me."

(2762)

RETORT, A

President Taft was hissed by a number of women when he was courageous enough to confess at the convention of the National American Woman Suffrage Association that he was not altogether in favor of women having the right to vote. President Taft was welcoming the delegates to Washington, but told them frankly that he was not altogether in sympathy with the suffrage movement. He said he thought one of the dangers in granting suffrage to women is that