Page:Cuthbert Bede--Little Mr Bouncer and Tales of College Life.djvu/65

Rh an attack—I have tried, lately, to avoid her, and to go out whenever I thought she was coming in."

Nevertheless, on the following morning, when Mr. Verdant Green had "tipped" his scout and bed-maker, before setting off homewards, Mrs. Tester was opportunely seized with spasms, as she was bidding him farewell. And as she pressed and thumped her sides in a terrific manner, and made every outward demonstration that she was suffering from internal agony, Verdant benevolently inquired what was the matter.

"It 's the spazzums, my good young sir!" groaned Mrs. Tester, dropping courtesys at every sentence, like the beats of a conductor's baton. "To which you be'old me a hafflicted martyr. And can only be heased with three spots of brandy on a lump of sugar. And how I am to get through these spazzums doorin' the veccation. Without a havin' em heased by going to your cupboard. For just three spots o' brandy on a lump o' sugar. Is a summat as I am afeerd to think on, my good young sir."

Whereupon Mrs. Tester was so completely overcome by the mingled pain of spasms and the prospect of losing Mr. Verdant Green's source of relief, that the Freshman was weak enough to present her with an extra half-sovereign for the express purpose of supplying her, during his absence, with the means of obtaining her accustomed medicine.